Wrong number

Months ago, I kept getting calls from an old man at a Royal Oak number, and he would leave messages looking for someone named Dick. It made me laugh and laugh. Then it stopped. Until today, when I got another voice mail from the old man that said, "It's just me calling for Dick, to see what's up for our big court case on Monday. Give me a call, let me know if there's anything we should be doing." I laughed and laughed, then went back to work. A couple hours later, he called me again: "It's Grandpa looking for Dick. Uhh...still looking for him." So I thought, okay, I better call Grandpa back and tell him I'm not Dick. But what I really wanted to do was call him pretending to be Dick, which I'm sure I could pull off because apparently I sound like Dick in my voice mail message, and say, "Hey, Grandpa, it's Dick. Oh, I'm fine, just having a brewski and watchin' The Girls Next Door. That's what I do, right? Hey, remind me—what is our big court case again? Uh huh... Oh wow... I did? Hahaha, I'm funny! Anywho, this is what you need to do for our big court case on Monday: send a check for one zillion dollars made out to our attorney, Erin Riojas, to the following address—no, she's the head attorney. I don't know why we've never heard of her before. I don't know, Grandpa, I'm only a man!"