All right. If someone really is signing me up for stuff, it's starting to freak me out, man. My mom said maybe my address got on a list somehow, but it seems like you'd have to put some effort into requesting the stuff I've gotten. On Friday I got a Betty Crocker calendar and it says something like, "Here's a calendar for being part of the BettyCrocker.com community." That's funny, because I don't remember ever being so excited about baking that I had to join an online community.
Yesterday I got a prayer hankerchief/chain letter from televangelist Don Stewart. Oh this one's a doozy. I'm supposed to write on the hanky the amount of money I need to pay off my debts, send it back to Don so he can rub some oil on it or some shit, then he'll send it back to me to use as a touch point. The letter is nuts. It's like, "WHATEVER YOU DO, don't keep this hankerchief! [Uh, done.] PLEASE OBEY THE WORD OF GOD. DON'T BREAK THE FLOWING OF GOD'S SPIRIT FROM MY SECRET PLACE [Hahaha!] OF PRAYER [Oh.] TO YOUR HOME! DO EXACTLY AS I SAY!" And of course it asks for money: "I say, 'Give God your best, and He will give you His best.' Sister Nori gave God $150. That was her best. Then God gave her His best. Erin, God knows what you can do." Oh, so Sister Nori gave $150 directly to God, Don? What is God going to do with $150? HUH? HUH, DON? Buy himself a Wii? Go to BestBuy.com and order an IPOD NANO, DON?
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4 comments:
Send the money directly to me, Erin and I promise I will see that God gets it.
maybe you should check out that on-line community. Baking is more fun than you know. and no, I didn't send it to you. I don't even know where you live...or doI?
Patti LaBelle? Is that you?
Yes it is, Erin Brockovich!
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