I met Val at Harpo Studios before 7am. We waited in line while they processed everyone and went through our purses. Then we were taken to the holding room upstairs that was run by old ladies. One of the old ladies kept saying, "You have allegedly one hour until show time." An hour later: "You have allegedly forty minutes until show time." Like she had just watched some old Star Jones episodes of The View.
They called us down by name to go into the studio, and Val was, like, the fourth name called. So we went downstairs and they showed us to our seats in the SECOND ROW. We were freaking out and then I told Val we need to play it cool so the producers don't realize we're a couple of Spazzy McNutbags and kick us out. The front row was reserved for the family of the woman they profiled. I bet Val and I will be on TV because Oprah and Suze talked to the family a few times, and we were right behind them. I'm in a bright green sweater and brown scarf, and Val is in a red shirt. It airs tomorrow, the 13th. Before the show one of the producers told us how to make good facial expressions, so if I look like an idiot it's not my fault.
It was a weird experience. I felt like I was just watching the show on a really, really big screen TV in really, really high definition. Val and I kept saying we couldn't believe we were there.
The show was actually quite depressing. It was about this woman whose abusive husband killed himself and purposely left her, like, $300,000 in debt. Suze Orman helped her develop a plan to get back on her feet. Suze was funny, because she's crazy, and she did yell at people after the show. Oprah was all business and very quick with her takes. She didn't really talk to the audience at all, and actually seemed disinterested in the woman's story. Like she just wanted to get it over with asap so she could go backstage and eat turkey bacon with Gayle.
There wasn't much after-show material. A few people asked questions about money and credit scores and I zoned out for a while. Then, and I swear to god, Oprah said, "I'd love to take more questions, but I have to go. I have to call Africa."
We got a free copy of Suze's book, Women & Money. I guess I should read it. I told Val to read it and get back to me. I mean, I just sat twelve feet away from Suze Orman for an hour—I'm practically an expert in finance now.
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4 comments:
But you forgot the best part!
Do you bathe in your money? J/K!
I feel so cheated. I watched the show and didn't get to see you or your friends. You shoulda asked about your 85 dollar mountain of debt. It has cracked us up more than once....
Oprah must have heard us talking bad about her. I kept seeing my hair, and saw our left sides for about .17 of a second. I'm so sad that your practice faces didn't have the opportunity to be seen by the world.
Oooh, my co-worker Erin told me to download that book today, because apparently you could download it for free today only, or something? I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. But she kept bugging me, so eventually I downloaded it in Spanish instead, cuz I was all, "I can learn Spanish and finance and women at the same time! GENIUS!" Only instead, I learned nothing.
Lovesies,
Bones
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