Chicago

I'm moving to Hendersonville, North Carolina on Sunday. What the WHAT! I am wiggin', y'all. But I'm excited, too, and nervous and open. I'm looking forward to my new life. I want to change my career path, I think; I want to get outside, in the mountains, I want to hike and write more, I want to be southern. Say goodbye to the Midwest for a change. I'm looking forward to being near my family again, and being near (in the same house as) Amy and Cheri. And finally living near my dearest auntie Bobbie and cousin Michael. I've never lived near them before, at least not that I can remember, so that will be good. (The wine will also be good, and chilled.) I'm looking forward to finding Jesus in my cheese toast.

But I will miss my own little life in Evanston/Chicago. I moved here two years ago, March. It was a good move for me. It was a mostly random move for me, because I'd been applying for jobs all over the country. I just wanted to get out of Michigan. I didn't have any friends in Royal Oak anymore and I wanted to go somewhere and have my own place—city, life—too. And so I did. And it was good to be alone for a while.

It was a good move because I know so much more about a city now. Chicago. I've been on the inside of it. I've driven with it, walked with it, biked, eaten, drank, danced, lived, grown with Chicago. I do love Chicago. There's so much character and culture and charm here, once you see outside of downtown, of the crowds, and dig into the neighborhoods. The neighborhoods make it feel more intimate and inclusive and liveable. I'll miss walking down Carmen or Clark in Andersonville, or sitting outside at T's, and feeling like I could actually live there.

I love Evanston, too, although I never spent much time downtown. Evanston is pleasant. It just feels nice here. The lakefront and the houses and the trees are beautiful. I've never seen trees like the trees here—big trees, with so many twisting, bending branches. So many photos in the trees. And the lake. I've loved having my own walk, my own regular route, and the rocks felt like mine so many times when no one else was around. The lake felt like mine. I was the only one seeing this at this very moment. The color of the water, the color of the sky, the waves, the water level, the birds—the lake was always different, season to season and within, and I noticed. I saw it.

It was a good move because of what I've found here. The people I've met—even if just briefly—the things I've seen and done, the places I've been. I want to list all of those finds. My favorite memories and what I'll miss, just as a farewell to my time here. This list is all from memory, and I don't have the best memory, so I'm sure I will forget many good things. Or even make things up. I don't know if a list will ever be complete. I'll think of things, little things, years from now and forever.

- I'll miss Russ. I feel like, if I came here for nothing else, it was to meet Russ. And if years from now I forget about everything else, Chicago will just equal Russ. I've picked her up on the way and I'll take her with me far, far, far into the future.
- I'll miss my cats at the Tree House. Oh I've cried over them. Especially Garmin, that old gray, gentle, slow cat that I followed from iso 1 to clinic to adoption floor. I would adopt him if I could.
- I'll miss my walk to the lake. Down Greenleaf and past the familiar (big) houses. And climbing and sitting on the rocks, just looking at the water. Taking pictures. I'll miss walking to the beach in the summer—laying out and watching the sand sculptor. Early sunrises before work, when the beach is still. The lake. Oh I will miss the lake.
- Election night in Grant Park with Russ. I can't believe we were there. Then being supercharged by hope for, ohhh, a good solid month.
- All of my wonderful visitors: Kelly, Erik, Cousin Michael, Kate, Cheri, Amy, Val, Other Erin (not me), Bill and Kent, mumma, Miss Bobbie.
- Going to The Oprah Show with Val to see Suze Orman, that crazy nutbag, and sitting in the second row, center. Then when Oprah said she couldn't stay because she had to go call Africa, I lost my shit.
- Becoming an outdoorswoman—twice. I'm so glad I happened upon that program.
- Starved Rock—first alone in spring 2007, then in winter 2008 with Russ. Walking quietly in the snow and watching deer cross our path just ahead of us. Then stopping in the wine store in town for a tasting before sitting through Holidazzle, that hilarious/hell-on-earth show.
- Dancing with Russ at night at the zoo. We were walking through the park and heard music coming from a building near the Lincoln Park Zoo. Someone was having a private party with a cover band and we danced below the open window near the swan paddle boat pond—our own private party. The only song I remember is "Cheer Up Sleepy Jean." Good party, guys.
- That same night, before the dancing. We had taken the bus down to Lincoln Park to Bricks, the underground pizza place that never seemed to be open. Had pizza and beer and were maybe a little loud. Afterward walked to the lake and sat at the end of a pier watching the black water. Walking back through the park I had to pee, so I went behind a statue. Actually, I think Russ did too. She's not getting out of this one.
- Sitting at the end of the pier in Rogers Park, with Russ, in August, enjoying the warm evening and reading to each other from a book of poems and musings.
- Cat's birthday party at Howl at the Moon, where I first met Russ. Then walking down Michigan Avenue, late, and posing with Colleen—our "Kimball's Best Friends" yearbook pose—in front of the lighted Christmas tree.
- Dancing in the bathroom at the Green Mill with Russ.
- Half-skinny dipping in Lake Michigan with Amy, then sitting, cold, in the lifeguard towers.
- Biking down Lake Shore—at night, floating, and in the hot sun, weaving in and out of walkers, runners, roller bladers, bikers. With the cool lake and field of boats just to the left.
- Birthday cakes from Aunt Chris! Do you ship?
- Meeting Brendan and our adventures—driving to Milwaukee after work to see the Polyphonic Spree, driving out to the country to an apple orchard, dressing as each other for Halloween at work, seeing The X-Files movie and being very angry at it.
- My work friends and our Friday lunches and one-time potluck. It'll be hard to find a group like that again.
- Falling on my face during the Office Olympics, which was broadcast live on WGN.
- Summers with Colleen—July 4th at the Taste (when we lugged Matt's comforter all the way downtown on the el and then just abandoned it in a crowd of people), the Italian Festival, both years. Eating meatball subs and sweating.
- Andersonville and T's, our "favorite" place. Sitting in the back at T's and putting Abba on the jukebox, and dancing. Playing pool.
- Seeing Maria Bamford with Russ and laughing and laughing.
- Cheri flying in last-minute in the fall to see me.
- Waiting in line for two-ish hours at Hot Doug's. Overflowing the toilet the first time and getting the hell out of there.
- Our first night at the wine bar—dancing with Hat, whom we never saw again.
- Getting hit on by Drunk Owner at the wine bar pretty much every time.
- Biking on the Green Bay Trail along the railroad tracks—up to Highland Park, through Ravinia and stopping at the park overlooking the lake—on beautiful, beautiful days.
- Biking the Green Bay Trail with Russ last week, then going back south to T's and sitting outside in our bike clothes, having a beer and dinner and enjoying the summer feel.
- New Year's Eve with Colleen at the Rock Bottom, then walking back from the el, in the street in the falling snow, and writing inappropriate things into the snow on car windows.
- New Year's Eve with Russ at the place I can't even remember the name of now, but lots of dancing and free drinks from the bartender whom we met in the bathroom.
- The Redhead Piano Bar and all the weird people and fun times, although most of them were before I moved here.
- Pride with Val—all the shiny naked dudes, then running into "Killer Margaritas" in the rain and having sweet, sweet margs.
- Laughing at the hot dog place Chubby Wieners on Western every time we pass.
- The Map Room with that free lunch buffet—sausage and fried chicken.
- Watching the Final Four at the Michigan State bar with fellow drunk, super nice alums.
- Seeing Amy play at Uncommon Ground.
- Cat's bachelorette party and dancing for two? three? hours straight.
- Kicking the soccer ball around in Humbolt Park last spring.
- Getting hit on/accosted by a coked-out homeless lady downtown.
- Eating for the first time at Heartland with Colleen—sitting outside after being at the beach.
- Going to Greektown with my mom and eating a giant meat pie.
- Spending time with Peewee in my apartment, just the two of us girls. I love that cat so much it makes me cry sometimes (don't judge me), and I'll miss having her by my side and being able to watch over her. (She will be living with my mom and Robert.) (I will not miss cleaning up her pukies.)
- The Hideout Block Party and seeing Neko Case and the New Pornographers and EATING.
- Grilling at the lake with Russ and her roommates this Memorial Day. Freezing and drinking beer out of plastic cups, listening carefully to Russ's discman with portable speakers. Sara holding me, twice, because I was cold, the second time because I demanded, "Just hold me, damn it."
- Going out to dinner this past weekend with Colleen and her future bridal party: Cat, Tara, and Christine. Laughing when the wait staff sang "Happy Birthday" to Colleen, after Colleen told them it was her birthday, even though Cat kept telling them it wasn't.
- Dancing with Colleen and Russ at Kingston Mines.
- Skipping rocks with Russ on that foggy day.
- Skipping ice chunks with Cheri in February.
- Bars and restaurants with Russ: Chalkboard, Hot Chocolate, Spynner's, Northwoods, Moody's, the hamburger stand ohhhhhh, that Swedish brunch place, the Brauhaus, Orange, Bricks...
- Going out to dinner dressed as Bret Michaels where no one else was dressed up.
- Shoeskating on the ice rink at the park across from my apartment.
- It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure Cat's wedding on Saturday will be a favorite memory. Russ is taking me as her guest. We'll celebrate, we'll dance, we'll love it. I'm going to keep going right up until the very end.