Mother's Day

For mother's day I sent my mom a giant box of Better Made chips, because she can't get them down south, and by the way she talks about them you'd think they were her life source. She said she saw the Better Made box at the door when they were coming up the driveway and didn't want to get her hopes up in case it was a joke. I guess like the time I wrapped her Christmas gift in a giant Kotex box and said, "The box doesn't mean anything." I also sent her this, which made her laugh so hard she cried.

I called my grandma for mother's day and we discussed where her tattoo should go. You know, the usual. My grandma wants to get a tattoo. Of the word "Sisu," which in Finnish means to have guts.

You remember my grandma:



Not a biker grandma, not a prison grandma, not a Miami grandma. And just a few weeks ago she was telling me that Carly Smithson on American Idol needs to cover up her tattoos because she looks like something out of the "hippie 50s." But my grandma visited her brother in the hospital last week and saw that he has "Sisu" tattooed on his arm. He had it done up in the Yoop. So now she wants one. I told her she should get it across her knuckles, so when she punches someone's lights out they'll see the "Sisu" coming. Or on her lower back, so she can show it off when she wears tube tops and low-rise jeans.