Girls' Night

I think I'm southern now. I had grits and biscuits and gravy with my omelet this morning, at a place called the Moose Cafe, served by a woman in camo boots who called me honey. We went this morning after girls' night. It started at a sports bar so we could eat wings and watch the MSU game. I didn't even know MSU was in a game. Amy's much-older sugar daddy showed up to join us. I need to get me one of them. Then we went to their house for a night of ping pong, movie, margs, hiding our noses from the dog's farts, and me saying things like, "Naked pillow fight time!" That's what girls do at girls' night, right? They watch movies and then they have, like, tub time. No? We all slept in one bed, like the Three Stooges, plus a big snoring dog.